07 Seven

My relationship with Mary did not last long. She was looking for the same thing that most girls in our town were, to grow up and get married. She was looking to have children and someone to take care of her, pay the bills, welcome her into their life… I was still preoccupied with Brenda that I missed all the signs, all of Mary’s advances. She made plans for us to both sneak out for a night time date, that I saw as another opportunity to be the classy guy and just sit and talk. She had me come over and meet her parents which were full of questions about my future, but I was as aloof as any person could be.
It must have been less than a month after the dance Mary showed up at my door. “Bobby? I don’t know why you don’t want me. I want to give you everything that a girl can give, but you just keep ignoring me.”
The conversation caught me off-guard as I thought I was doing all the things that a respectable boy did. “Mary. What do you mean? I thought I was giving you everything you needed.”
“Really?” Her demeanor went from sad to angry in moments. Her voice raised in volume, her posture stiffened. “You don’t want to touch me! I want a husband who can give me children. I want a relationship that leads to marriage and life as an adult. I want a man!” She could see the shock in my eyes. She had spent years wanting to go steady with me and it was turning out to be like having a friend. She went in for the kill. “I want a man, but you just a scared little boy.”
She walked away with me holding my door open in shock from her words. At first I wanted to run after her and show her that I could take charge, but the second I started to move I realized that I could not. I realized I did not want to. I wanted to be spending time with Brenda no matter how she felt about me.
I remember running through the fields, jumping little cattle fences and ducking between the trees in the areas still preserved as forest. I had it in my mind that I was going to see Brenda and confess my love for her. I was going to run to her and we would spin uncontrollably in a passionate embrace ending my years of quite admiration.
When I reached her house, I banged on the screen door preparing to let my wildest dreams become a reality. After a few knocks I was presented with her father. He was still just as large as when I had met him, but he donned a dirty undershirt and overalls with one strap hanging down. He looked at me like I was an annoying dog pooping on his lawn. “You looking for Brenda?” He stopped, but did not allow enough time for me to respond. “She’s in town with her mother.” His speech was slurred and coming out with a lot of venom. “Managed to get her arm stuck in one of our feed grinders. Probably broke it. Expecting her to have a stay in the hospital.” He stood in front of me with a slight sway as the breeze came in behind me.
“Thank you, sir.” I wanted to retreat from our words as quickly as possible as I did not feel the moment was as safe as it should have been. There was a feeling in the air that left me uneasy.